Summer jitters

So summer vacation is officially here.
Let me clarify what I mean by "summer vacation".
I don't mean, "yey, school is over, let's travel and party!". And I certainly don't mean "yey, no more work to do, let me find myself a cool summer job and forget about studying for a few months!"
Heck no.
Summer vacation in PhD student linguo can be translated into more something along these lines: "What now, there must be a way to cram one full year of readings into three months? Perhaps I could finally catch up on my theory bibliography by finishing up Foucault's Archeology of Knowledge, Talal Asad's Genealogies of Religion, Walter Benjamin The Arcades, and perhaps I can even brush up on my German? Naaah..... It's best to focus completely on my dissertation research so that I don't feel guilty for another full year of not having put the summer to good use.... Well, is that exactly a good idea?" -- head scratching....
That's when you look up from your library cubicle and outside the window to see reckless undergrads sprawled on the campus lawn or innocently playing an improvised football ( I mean soccer here) game... On the sidewalk, people are parading in colorful summer clothes, strolling nonchalantly down Main Street, and undeniably enjoying a warm and long-awaited spring weather.
It is tempting to let yourself get carried away by the warm caressing breeze and by the colorful and flowerish surroundings, but... YOU KNOW BETTER.

I mean, if you miss three-month worth of reading, horrible things may happen.

• First, you'll have nightmares filled with remorse and hand-twisting for having procrastinated yet again.
  
• Secondly, you'll only have your golden tan to show at your oral comprehensive exams in the fall.
  
• Thirdly, you'll be oh so sorry when your funding has ended and you still haven't finished your dissertation.
  
• Fourth, you'll have only YOU to blame this time, instead of your advisor when everything is running behind because YOU not HIM/HER decided to sprawl on the lawn instead of doing a literature review of your topic.
  
• Finally, is it really that wise to fool yourself into thinking you're a normal person, a regular student, or even a rightful academic for a few months only to find that reality hits you HARD in the upcoming school year?

Sigh....

Well, that's right.
So I stay put in my dark library cubicle, where books and articles are only piled higher by the day, seeking comfort in the fact that.... the library is finally quiet and undergrad-free for me to actually get some work done.

Can't help but smile: after all, summer ain't that bad, is it?